Kerry

Pets: Yes

Stay at Home Parent: No

Other Adopted Children at Home: No

Other Biological Children at Home: No

I hope that as you make the courageous choice for your child you feel peace with your decision. I know that I will never be a perfect mom to the child entrusted to my heart, but I will continually be finding another of the million ways to be a good one.

Kerry

from Colorado

Kerry

Ancestry: Irish, English, Dutch

Religion: Agnostic

Occupation: Quality Engineering Manager

Education: MS, MBA

Hobbies: Gardening, Home improvement, Art, Family & friends

Baby

Preferred Ethnicity of Baby: Caucasian / Asian, Caucasian, Caucasian / Hispanic, Caucasian / Indian, Caucasian / Middle Eastern, Caucasian / Native American, Caucasian / Pacific Islander

Preferred Gender of Baby: Either

Religion Child To Be Raised: Agnostic

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From Me to You

Dear Expectant Parents,

As you read this for the first time I’m sure that a million thoughts are going through your head for all of the choices you are about to make. The choice you are making now, as you read this to try to identify the family to which you want to entrust the life of your baby, is likely one that seems like it needs to be perfect. I heard somewhere that there is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one. This process you are going through, to me, is one of those million ways.

You likely don’t care about my resume, but I want to share with you what my life has given me to get me here. I am the fourth generation of my family to be born and live in this city. My great-grandfather was alive until I was in middle school and would share stories of his life here. He would talk about how things had changed from when he was a boy and living on farmland that is now in the middle of a city. He instilled the comfort in the connection to where I come from, that I can still drive by his house today and remember him. I am from a large family from both of my parents. I am the oldest daughter to my mom but the fourth child of my dad. They are still happily married today, living in the same home where they raised my younger sisters and me. My childhood included sports like swimming and softball, being terrible at tennis and golf, and going to sporting events or theater shows. I went to college on a scholarship, then went on to complete two more degrees. I finally found a career as an engineer in the medical field that feeds both of my career callings – to solve problems and to help people who are sick.

In the journey of my life I have not met that amazing man yet, but I have found so many different things that I might not have if my life had taken that different path. I have had the time to find a career that I enjoy and brings me joy. My job has included options to travel, to see the world. I have found the strength within to realize that I can do so many things myself. I bought a house, I remodeled a house, I travel, I spend time with friends and I volunteer in my community. These are all skills I have learned that I may not have had to if I had been on another path. The opportunities would have been different. I believe that it makes me stronger as a person and as a parent. I know through these experiences that no matter what happens, there is a path forward. So today my path takes me to you reading this letter, to sharing with you the place where I am today. Today is where I can see all of the love and experiences I want to offer a child. This path to being a mom, though it is different than the one I thought I would be on, in that it is one I currently walk alone, has lead me to you and to your child.

I have many friends who have shown me the joy of adoption making them parents, in all forms that can happen. Some have journeyed through the foster care system, some through domestic adoption or private adoption and some through the international adoption route. All of them have advice about how they handled the process. They are the support system I didn’t know I needed but are there already. They can share what has helped them talk with their child about their birth families and how they make them feel safe and loved no matter how they came to be a family. This part of the life that I would be able to share with your child is amazing, not only in that there is support of other parents and children who have experienced what we will experience.

I knew that adoption was a part of my future early. I can remember holding a friend’s daughter; she was maybe a few months old. She had come to them through the foster system and was happy and snuggly. I remember telling them all then, if I hadn’t found someone to start a family with, I would not be afraid to adopt alone, and if I found someone before then, it would just start the journey sooner.

I hope that this letter has helped you in your journey. I hope that as you make the courageous choice for the life entrusted in your care, as you entrust it to another, you feel peace with your decision. I know that I will never be a perfect mom to the child entrusted to my heart, but I will continually be finding another of the million ways to be a good one.

Sincerely,
Kerry

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My Dog, Riley

The pet joy of my life is a corgi named Riley. He spends his days dedicated to clearing the yard of all things and taking care of his people. He is a herding dog at heart. While I mostly live alone and he sees his job as my foot warmer and doorbell, when my nephew Dakota is over for a “spendy” Riley will desert me to protect him. Riley shows his love for Dakota by sleeping in front of his door, following him around and herding him back towards me if we are separated. In some ways Riley has had a great life in how spoiled he is with toys, sleeping on the couch and walks. In other ways he has had his troubles with food allergies, and back issues. The adversity of these has not changed his dog joy, nor has it changed my joy in his company. A little work is well worth the love he gives to everyone in return.

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My Family and Friends

It takes a village to raise a child and my village is full of people brought to my life both as the family I was given and the family I have made. My parents live not far from me, in the same home I grew up in. My two sisters and their families are also close by. My nuclear family is close, both in geography and in relationships. We have Sunday coffee together to catch up, Friday homemade pizza gatherings and holidays. My village of friends is a source of enjoyment and is varied in both how we became friends and the life experiences that they bring with them. Work friends, school friends, friends met through other friends, exercise friends, friends with kids and those who choose not to, young and old in age, young and old in the time we have known each other. I believe that we are a sum of all of our experiences, and the experiences of those who we connect with. The village with which I hope to raise a child is one that I couldn’t be more proud of being a member of.

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My Home

My home is one that I have worked to build from a house into a home. I live in a suburb in a two-story, traditional home in an established, traditional neighborhood. I bought the house a few years ago from a family where it had served its purpose as a house for them, but it needed love and attention to have the feeling of a home. The time between then and now has been a combination of labor of love to bring out the details and the beauty of it and a version of the movie, “The Money Pit” for all of the things gone wrong. I have been working my way through the house, from top to bottom, remodeling it, mostly doing the work myself where I have the expertise, the tools, the time and the strength to do so, because there is pride in figuring out how to make things new again. As I write this, only one interior room remains untouched, someday the purple bathtub and the blue fixtures will find a new home. The immediate neighborhood I call home is not only nice from all of the traditional metrics of schools and safety, but it is also full of genuine people. My neighbors are amazing people, a mix of retired and young families, trade workers and office workers. The neighbors are the kind who talk across the fences or gather in the middle of the street, have backyard BBQ’s inviting anyone they see, asking about each other and creating a true sense of friendship.

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My Hobbies

I spend my time outside of work doing a variety of activities, I am a scientist with the heart of an artist and a side of activism. Since moving from a rental to a home of my own, I have found a love of gardening. To see things grow and thrive and return year after year has its own joy. While I wait for those things to happen each season, it has also taught me patience. I get to design and imagine what to grow and what to plant that adds to the variety and beauty that I see in my head. When inspiration strikes, I also spend my time creating art. These days it comes through photography and painting. Outside of the home I spend time in my community finding fulfilment through service. I have spent my time in community outreach through Junior League membership and I am an advocate for public education and environmental issues in my community.

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Traditions

When I think of traditions I think first of holidays. Thanksgiving dinner with my parents and sisters, around the same dining room table that they have had since they were married. That same table now sits in my dining room as my mom inherited the one she used to sit around last year. Christmas Eve dinner with cousins, aunts and uncles, up until my Grandmother could no longer live in her house, it was the same place with the same atmosphere for 50 years. The location is different now that the house is no longer in the family, but the tradition remains the same, it is about being together and having the shared history of the last decades of times we have done the same. We have started some of our own now that my sisters are having children. We read “The Red Ranger Came Calling” each year after the kids have changed into their Christmas jammies. There are other things that have just always been part of the events of a year. Every birthday includes dinner at a German restaurant. Each year my mom gets season tickets to the theater to see the shows that come to town, following in my grandmother’s footsteps and bringing whoever with her that wants to go. Each spring brings back baseball, though we no longer have season tickets, there are still games to attend, and memories of other baseball milestones we have been present for.

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Vacations and Leisure Time

Vacations are all about exploring, the people, the sites and the food. The challenge is that every year I want to go somewhere I have never been before. This could be a state or town that I have not been to or a new country. Sometimes those travels are with large groups or multiple family members, sometimes it’s solo. I’m excited that the travel opportunities will continue with the addition of a child. It will bring new excitement of seeing things through their eyes as well. Trips will be different, more planning needed, but exploring the world around me is something that I can’t wait to pass along to a child. My most recent travel has been largely international, a trip to Israel, to discover the history of the region and the religion that shaped it. Prior to that was time in Wales, Scotland and England. I have also spent time enjoying Ireland, France, Germany, Belgium, India, Japan and Canada. Travel has also taken me to 26 different states in this country so far and so many more to go.

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Why I'm Choosing to Adopt

My parents are the sentimental sort that keep items like the program from my kindergarten graduation. In that program, next to my name is the thing I want to be when I grow up as of age 5. For me, that was to be a mom. In my life I have always envisioned that at least part of getting that job would be through adoption. They say that adoption is a journey of faith. For me this is faith that the soul who needs me for the courage and love that I have for them to achieve all they can, will find their way to me. Faith that the soul who will touch my heart and change my life forever, will find me.

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What Your Child's Life will be Like

Let me share with you the type of childhood I am hoping to provide this new soul, this gift. I have a full-time job at a company that has great flexibility in work schedule, so am looking to begin our family with a reduced work schedule and work from home in combination with group child care. I want to see as many milestones of their life as possible, but still need to provide for them. I also believe that social interactions are important, learning to interact with other children, learning behavioral cues, making friends and playing are all important to their development. I also know that role models are what they see and I want them to see that their mom is strong and smart and can do anything, the same way that they can. We will travel, once travel is safe again, to see parts of the country and parts of the world. To learn history and dialect and society of things that are different from where we live, to appreciate the differences in the world around us, to respect that there are those who have different experiences and different views and that it is okay. We will spend time exploring museums, theater, music, sporting events, festivals or other opportunities to find the things that feed their curiosity, feed their desires, to feel safe to try new things and know that they will be supported even if they fail. While it would be easy if they share joy in the same activities I do, gardening, community service, the arts and baseball, what I want them to share more is that they got the chance to experience life and decide what makes them happy. In the end I want them to be able to look back on everything that they saw and did and the people they met along the way and say “no matter how big or small my impact, I have left that part of the world a better place than I found it.”

What I will Tell Your Child about You

Above all I will be honest with your child in an age appropriate way. Without knowing your story and your feelings it is difficult to know exactly what that will look like, as I will respect your wishes as well for what you are comfortable sharing with me. I hope that it will include information about who you are, maybe what they got from you (their eye color or their smile or the color of their hair) so that they know more of their history. No matter your story, or what I know of it, I will be able to convey to them that they came to my family through an act of love, that their happiness was what mattered more than anything else happening in the world. Much of the rest of what they learn about you as they grow up will be up to you and up to them.

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