Daniel and Siobhan

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From Us to You

Hi! We’re Dan & Siobhan (Shi-vhawn). How are you? We’re thinking you may be feeling a little stressed and like your brain is spinning with all these choices to make and worries for the future. Real quick, before we dive into why we are the coolest, nicest, most loving people, and will make the best parents, take a deep breath! Like a big deep sigh, we do this any time we’re feeling stressed and it really helps!

We are really excited to start this process and get to know you. But our excitement is also coming with a whole bunch of emotions for you and your situation. We can’t imagine this choice you are considering and what brought you here, but know how brave and selfless you must be. We are here because we want to grow our family through adoption. As much as we want to grow our family with a baby, we are also looking forward to being able to support you and give you the opportunity to know your child as they grow. Siobhan’s mother was adopted as a baby and recently connected with her birth mother, who we call our Gi-Gi. We’ve had many conversations about how hard it was to not know where one another was and if they were okay. Over the past few years, we have learned about Siobhan’s mother’s emotions as a child and how much meeting her birth mother has helped her even at over 60 years old! We hope that together we can create a scenario where both you and your child feel whole.

We are so grateful that anyone would consider us to parent their child. We feel that as warm, loving, and fun people we are able to provide an amazing life for your child. A life full of unconditional love, freedom to ask questions and explore, and a safe and supportive family.

Your child will grow up in an amazing community, diverse in every way, welcoming, and full of fun activities. We love hiking, traveling, sports, arts, and music. Although we have a ton of hobbies and interests, we hope to encourage what your child likes and dive into that as well! We also find balance with practicing a much-deserved mental health day with movies and comfort foods. We feel our most important role as parents will be balance. We want to teach being active and having fun, while also taking breaks for yourself and expressing your emotions honestly.

A little more about us: Siobhan is currently a family therapist after a short-lived career as an art teacher. She loves kids and has infinite patience and understanding for them, especially those with special needs. She currently does sessions in their homes, and spends about half of her work time at our home writing notes and preparing for sessions, and half out in the community. She is passionate about social justice and taking care of the earth. She loves learning and has been preparing for adoption by reading parenting books for adoptive parents. She is growing a huge vegetable garden, and working on making our home zero waste.

Dan is a software engineer and also changed careers about 7 years ago; He used to work in an art gallery. He now works from home full-time and has an awesome office with guitars, sketch pads, and a putting green to give himself little breaks throughout the day. He is very handy and can fix anything in our house after watching a few YouTube videos. He also loves learning and is always sharing some “dad facts” which typically are about sports, history, or science.

We hope this letter gives you hope for the future and a brief moment of calm in a very stressful process. We are here for you and look forward to being a family.

Sincerely,
Dan and Siobhan

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Why We're Choosing to Adopt

Adopting has been a big part of our family planning since the beginning. Siobhan’s mother was adopted at four months old and Siobhan has always planned to have adoption be a part of her family. Siobhan has cousins and friends who were adopted as babies and through foster care; she has always focused on supporting these systems in some way. As we talked about it more, both of us have complicated family histories with infertility, mental health, and other health conditions, and growing our family biologically has never held much importance to us. We feel that adoption allows us to grow our family not only with children, but expanding a support network for birth mothers. Siobhan’s mother recently connected with her birth mother and many siblings. Watching the effect it had on her confidence and feelings of belonging was so huge for her and our family. We hope to continue the tradition of being an open family, supporting others with our love and privileges.

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About Dan, by Siobhan

There are three things I want you to know about Dan: he is the most loving person, he is very smart and driven, and he is a lot of fun to be around! Dan’s kindness and love is so wonderful to experience. He is an amazing husband and partner, always supporting and grounding me through hard times. He loves his family and friends with his whole heart, is always there for them and enjoys their company. He never misses an opportunity to tell me, his family, or his friends that he loves them and appreciates them. Your child will never question if they are loved in Dan’s presence! Dan is also really smart. He is always reading and watching videos on how to fix things in our house, and learning about science and history. He picked up coding to become a software developer so quickly and I honestly still don’t fully understand it! He is teaching himself Spanish right now and taught himself guitar during the Covid lockdown. He always surprises me with his wide range of interests and willingness to learn more about things I am interested in. While I was in grad school, he took so much interest in psychology and social justice, which made me feel really special. He is a sponge for new information and I think that is such a beautiful quality of his, always eager to learn and experience more. Dan is a BLAST to be around. He is funny, spontaneous and full of energy. He is always the first one to sign up for Karaoke and the first one on the dance floor at a wedding. We love being active, spending time outside, being with friends and go, go, go; but also, we can sit on the couch under blankets and watch movies and have the time of our lives talking and goofing around. Some of my favorite memories with Dan are with just the two of us, laughing and being silly. I think that quality is going to be so important when he is a dad, breaking the tension when things get tough and teaching our child to enjoy life.

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About Siobhan, by Dan

Siobhan is the best person I know, and I feel extraordinarily lucky to have met her, let alone to be married to her. She is constantly impressing me with her compassion, her character, her selflessness and her passion. It’s hard for me to understand how someone so smart, beautiful, empathetic and loving even exists, or why she chose me to spend the rest of her life and build a family with. She makes a great impression on everyone she meets, and to know her simply is to love her. I know she will be a great role model for your child because she is a great role model for me. She makes me want to be a better person.

When she puts her mind to something, Siobhan is simply a force of nature. If there is anything she wants to accomplish, I am 100% certain it will happen, because she will make sure that it does. She has a way of tackling huge undertakings and chipping away at them in a way that I am simply in awe of. Even if it is difficult emotionally or takes her out of her comfort zone, she will do whatever it takes. When Siobhan decided to go to graduate school for social work, she knew it would be difficult but it never phased her. She found the perfect program, got accepted, and worked so hard for the next three years. At one point, she was attending classes, doing an internship, and working full time. I was amazed at how she was able to not only do all three things at once, but to excel at them. And through it all, our relationship was never put on the back burner. We always found time to spend together even when there was very little to spare, and even if she was dead tired. She was always there if I ever needed her support or simply to let me vent.

Siobhan does incredible work as a family-based therapist. It is truly amazing how she is able to connect with families on cases that are sometimes extremely difficult. I love that she never gives up on anyone, no matter how hard it gets.

I know Siobhan will be a great mother because of how much love she has to give. She is extremely close and generous with her family and friends. Spending time with loved ones is so important to her and she never misses an opportunity to let people know how much they are loved. As I mentioned before, to know her is to love her, but sometimes you don’t even need to know her! She’s constantly striking up friendly conversations with strangers at the grocery store or at the park, or having small children come up to her just to say hi. She just looks like someone that you would like to know, and you can just feel from her presence how pure hearted she is.

I can’t wait to start a family with this beautiful, brilliant, kind-hearted person and I am really looking forward to seeing the amazing humans her future children become.

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Our Home

We recently moved into our dream home and are renovating to make it our own. We live in a twin-style home with a front porch overlooking a quiet, tree-lined street. We also have a big (for the city) fenced-in backyard, with huge trees and a tire swing ready for your child to play on. Our dog, Bert, spends lots of time out back, sunbathing and listening to the birds chirp. There is a garage we are converting into an art studio in the back of the house which we can’t wait to use. We have 4 bedrooms and a bathroom on each floor of the house. Your child would have a big bedroom with tons of natural light. The living room has a fireplace, perfect for Christmas morning and cozy winters.

We live in a diverse and quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of a city in Pennsylvania. Our neighbors have been so welcoming, with a mix of older and younger families, kids to play with and parks to explore. The neighborhood has a train that can take us downtown, and the main street is lined with theaters, a library, artists’ studios, restaurants, and lots of small businesses. Our neighborhood has lots of history, cobblestone streets, and old buildings complete with plaques detailing all the history. Five minutes from our front door are hiking trails, with a creek that Bert loves to take a swim in. Living in the city offers so much to us: art, music, diverse food options, and lots of activities.

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Our Sweet Pup

Our dog, Bert, is a 6-year-old Australian Cattle Dog mix. We rescued him from a shelter when he was 5 months old. Although he’s slowing down as he gets older he is the most cuddly, playful, chatty guy. He loves hiking and camping probably more than we do! He is very intelligent and bosses us around when he wants a belly rub, a treat, or a walk. Bert has been through lots of training to show off his sit, stay, lie down, relax, touch, and most recently “show me your belly!” He spends most of his day napping in the backyard or on the couch, watching out the front window and making sure everyone is safe. He loves playing hide-and-seek and chewing up sticks in the backyard. We think he will be a great big brother from watching him with our niece and nephews and friends’ children, he loves to give kisses and catch treats in the air.

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Our Families

We are both very close with our families; they all live about an hour away. Dan’s parents are divorced but we all still spend holidays together with his older sisters, Erin and Megan, and his younger brother, Tim. Dan’s sister, Erin, and her partner have three children, twins Matthew and Michael (5), and Emily (2), who we see any chance we get. Together with the kids we like to check out parks, the zoo, Monster Jam, etc. We love going to baseball games with Dan’s dad and his brother, Tim. Dan’s mom and her partner have a pool and we spend lots of time there in the summer grilling and relaxing.

Siobhan’s parents are very crafty and love spending time outside relaxing. Her mother makes beautiful knitted and crocheted items and her father restores old radios, along with being able to fix anything under the sun. Devin, Siobhan’s younger sister, and her husband, Owen, are big animal lovers; we take our dogs hiking together which is always fun. As a family, we love to try new restaurants, go to local festivals, and spend time outdoors.

We consider our friends our chosen family. Most of our closest friends have been there for us through thick and thin. We love to do just about everything together: travel, go to sports games, see live music, and eat at restaurants to name a few. Your child will not be short on fun, loving aunts and uncles! Many of our friends have kids who refer to us as Aunt Shev and Uncle Daniel.

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Our Lifestyle

We like to stay active, but we also appreciate our time when we can just relax. We are definitely drawn more toward situations that will keep us occupied. For example, when we chose which house we were going to buy, we chose the one that would require more work but for us had more potential. Family and friends are very important to us, and we try to see them as much as possible. We also think it’s important to be an active part of the community, attending events in our neighborhood. Financially, we are pretty stable and we maintain that stability by generally being savers as opposed to spenders. While we love traveling and taking vacations, we usually try to go the more economical route. We live our lives with love, compassion, and empathy for others. We strive to live our lives in such a way that leaves the world in a better place than we found it and believe that any positive impact makes a difference.

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Family Traditions

We have been together for close to 10 years and our traditions are a mix of our holiday celebrations from our families as well as things we have made up along the way. We love to make a big deal of each other’s birthdays, either going out of town or having friends and family over. For Valentine’s Day we always cook dinner together and choose something we haven’t made before, get corny cards and write a long message about how much we love each other. We got engaged on Valentine’s Day so we continue to make a big deal out of it.

On Thanksgiving, we try to join our families together at Dan’s mother’s home. We merge a lot of our favorites. Dan’s mother always makes fried sweet potatoes, turkey, and filling. Siobhan’s family always has cornbread stuffing, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes. We love carbs, if that wasn’t apparent!

Dan’s grandfather was Russian Orthodox Catholic, which follows a different calendar, meaning Dan grew up celebrating Christmas and “Russian Christmas” as well as Easter and “Russian Easter.” Celebrations typically involved going to the Orthodox service and having a meal together. Today, it’s typically an excuse to get the family together and have a big meal, and share stories about Dan’s grandparents.

We typically spend Christmas Eve at our home with Dan’s family. We eat Italian food and open presents. Dan’s mother always has holiday-themed games and scratch-off lottery tickets for the winners. Christmas morning we go to Siobhan’s parents’ home for a big brunch. Siobhan’s family LOVES Christmas and has a long tradition of eating lots of appetizers and watching old holiday movies like White Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and The Bishop’s Wife.

In addition to holidays, Dan’s family are all huge baseball fans, and basically consider the first day of the baseball season a holiday. They’ve gone to the first Phillies home game of the year every year, a tradition that Siobhan has embraced as well. During football season, or when there is a big basketball game on, it is pretty typical for a big group of friends to meet up at our place with lots of homemade treats to watch the game, a tradition that has been more difficult to maintain as we all have moved but are still planned for the upcoming season!

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Our Hobbies

We are not short on hobbies! Siobhan is currently into gardening, sewing, and thrifting/antiquing. She loves home decorating and looking at fashion. Since we bought our new home, she has begun painting, decorating, and organizing our house and she loves it. She also built a vegetable garden in the backyard which has given us zucchini, tomatoes, and peppers this summer. She is passionate about being green, typically buying mostly thrifted or second-hand clothes as well as trying to find new ways to help our household be zero waste. She also enjoys yoga and meditates.

Dan loves to learn new things and is always reading something. He does the New York Times crossword puzzle every day, a hobby he picked up from his parents and grandparents who also loved crossword puzzles. He is still actively making art, spending time in the studio or making sketches for his next painting at home. He recently started playing guitar, something he’s always wanted to do and that COVID lockdowns finally gave him time to pursue. He is also very into playing sports, a few that he does regularly include golf, basketball, Muay Thai and bowling.

We both enjoy being active, whether that is hiking trails near our house, biking around the city, camping, or planning DIY home improvement projects.

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How We Met

How we met is one of our favorite stories. We are from the same hometown but Dan went to the public high school and Siobhan went to Catholic school. In 2011, Siobhan moved to Philadelphia and had been living there for about 2 years when she was on a dating site and noticed a familiar face. Dan was a Facebook friend, but we’re not completely sure how (we’re not ones for having strangers as social media friends). Dan messaged Siobhan and we went on a few dates. On the second or third date, we tried to understand how we were already Facebook friends. While talking about our mutual hometown, Siobhan shared about how she had gone to Dan’s high school’s senior prom and was driven by another couple. After sharing stories, we realized that Dan and his date had driven Siobhan and her date to prom in his Honda Accord! As time went on, we realized all the times we had met in passing or through mutual friends. We knew fate was at work, and we have been pretty much inseparable since then.

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The Kind of Parents We will Be

We will be the most loving and supportive parents that we possibly can be. We will always be present and aware of our roles as parents, but understand that your child’s life is their own to live. Their life choices will be their own to make without us judging them or them being afraid of disappointing us. Traveling and experiencing other cultures/people is very important to us. Neither of us grew up in families where travel was in the budget and we will continue traveling with your child giving them fun memories. We are completely committed to learning all we can about how to provide the safest and most supportive childhood, seeking out additional aid or education when needed. We plan to surround your child with love, consistency, and clear expectations, allowing them to always feel safe. We know the importance of quality time and can’t wait to join your child in their interests as well as show them ours. Being parents will be our most important role and we are already practicing our communication skills so your child will always know we are a team together as a family.

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What We will Teach Your Child

As a family, our core values are compassion for others, enjoying life to the fullest, sharing our blessings and opportunities with others, and taking care of our collective home. We will teach your child how to navigate an increasingly complicated world. We will teach them to be curious, compassionate, and respectful of others rather than judgmental and fearful. We will teach them that this planet is the only home we have and how important it is to protect it and preserve it for them and for their future children. We will also help them explore the world with a keen sense through experiences and traveling. Sometimes the most rewarding experiences are the ones that take us out of our comfort zones. We will help them understand other people, to have gratitude and to share what they can with others, through kindness, service, and friendship. We will also teach them that even with all the complicated things happening in the world, the most important thing is to check in with themselves. We will encourage rest and to fill your own cup before you can fill others’.

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What We will Tell Your Child

Similarly to the way Siobhan’s grandparents did with her mother, we plan to be very open and honest with your child about their adoption and birth mother. We will help them understand that they are special and wanted. We will always support them in navigating hard emotions and feeling safe to confide in us when they have questions or need to share. We will, of course, find age-appropriate ways to share their story and help them navigate outside questions about their history. We will always ensure that child knows how much love and courage it takes to make a decision like yours and how much WE love and respect YOU. It is very important to us that they know how grateful we are to you for allowing us to be parents, and how much they are loved by us and by you. As a family we will navigate the hard times together.

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Our Careers

Siobhan was an art teacher for a few years before changing careers to mental health social work. Although she loved working with kids, being a teacher wasn’t the perfect fit for her. Currently, she works as a family-based therapist, supporting children and their families through difficult times, and she absolutely loves it! She loves teaching parents and kids new ways to cope with stress, and she loves watching their bonds grow and change. She works with lots of kids with trauma, mental health diagnoses, and living in low-income communities. She has so much patience and empathy for their situations and wants to better their lives any way she can, and maybe do an art project here or there.

Dan currently works as a software engineer, a career he transitioned to about eight years ago. Prior to that, he worked in the art world at a commercial gallery. Part of his role at the gallery was running online auctions. Much of this work required very tedious and repetitive work that he started to figure out how to automate. He started teaching himself some basic coding and after reading an article about how in-demand software engineers are, he decided that this is something he could pursue as a career. He got to work teaching himself how to code and taking online courses until he found his first job in the industry and has been working himself up the ranks ever since.

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

No matter the race of the child we adopt, diversity is one of the most important things to us, especially as future parents. Recently we moved from a predominantly white neighborhood to one that is much more diverse with the possibility of transracial adoption in mind. We know that if given the opportunity to parent a child of a different race it will be difficult, but we have spent most of our adult lives striving to be more empathetic to our differences in experiences and engaging in other cultures, we plan to continue those practices in parenting. To be a parent of a child of a different race, would mean continuing to constantly educate ourselves on our child’s race and culture, seeking support through friends, family, and mentors in the community of the same race. We want our home to always be an open-minded space where your child feels comfortable talking to us about their experiences and struggles with identity. With our love of learning and experiences, we plan to create new traditions based on your culture. It is an incredible honor to be trusted to raise a child, one we would hold in the highest regard and strive to support your child to feel safe and respected.

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Education

After graduating high school, we both went to universities to pursue four-year degrees. Dan was a graphic design major, but eventually received a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Printmaking/Book Arts. Siobhan coincidentally also found a passion for printmaking, and also discovered a love of teaching in college, earning a double major in Fine Arts and Art Education.

After graduating college and working for several years, we both pursued continuing education in different ways. Dan went a more informal route, taking online courses to learn software engineering. Siobhan’s love of helping others led her to pursue an education and career in Social Work, earning her Masters of Social Work.

Even though we both see the importance of formal education, we also believe in being lifelong learners by teaching ourselves new things. Siobhan has also recently taken several classes through a community-based organization that lets neighbors take classes taught by other neighbors in the community.

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Our Promise to You

We promise you that your child will be surrounded by a loving, safe, and encouraging family and community. We promise to completely engage in your child’s heritage and your family’s traditions, marrying them with our own. We will always encourage open communication, non-judgement, and creating a safe place for your child to express themselves and ask tough questions. We also promise to respect their privacy, and follow their lead, when they are old enough to understand, when it comes to sharing their information with others. With all the heavy stuff that comes with adoption, we promise to support them in exploring the world, having fun, and finding their own interests to be passionate about. Your child will be our biggest priority and we will do everything to give them the most fulfilling life possible.