We are the parents of three amazing sons, but the path to
have them was a roller coaster ride. Faith, patience and perseverance paid off – with help from ANLC.
My husband and I started trying to build a family early
into our marriage, but found no reason why we were experiencing
difficulties. We ended up using in-vitro
fertilization (IVF), and on the third attempt I gave birth to our first son in
2004. Keeping the difficulty we
experienced in mind, just seven months later we re-started IVF again in hopes
of eventually having a second child.
But after two more years of attempts, with countless
medical procedures and miscarriages, we eventually recognized that having
another child was immeasurably more important than the natural desire to have
that child be our biological offspring. I went through a lot of heartbreak and tears to reach that point.
Looking back, I wish I could have reached that decision years earlier. Once we embraced adoption, it made so much
We spoke with many adoption entities and selected Adoption Network
Law Center. We completed the paperwork and “went live” in
June; just six weeks later came the call that we were waiting for - a birth mother
had picked us and she was on her way to the hospital to deliver “our”
baby. Sadly, we soon learned she was
hiding information about the adoption from the birth father, and when
confronted about having him sign off his parental rights, the birth mother
withdrew from working with ANLC, thus ending our hopes of adopting that child
Just a month later we received another call from an
Advisor about an adoption opportunity, but after reviewing the profile of the
birth parents, and doing some research of our own, we found an arrest record
for drugs that was not disclosed by the birth parents, and we feared that there
might be other issues that had not been disclosed; with a very heavy heart, we
declined the opportunity.
Only five weeks later, ANLC called again, and we were
thrilled - this situation sounded perfect. The birth mother had placed a baby
with ANLC only a year before, so everyone was comfortable working with her.
After some odd problems setting up and conducting our initial phone
conversation, we learned the birth mother had been accused of promising a baby
to more than one family in the past. We
finally held our phone conversation with the birth mother and felt reassured
that she was committed to working with ANLC, but a few days later, a family
from another state called ANLC to see if they had been contacted by the same
birth mother - this second family had found the birth mother online and had
their own "contract" with her, and had been sending her checks to
help her cover expenses. ANLC
immediately contacted local authorities; we later learned that both birth parents
had been arrested for trying to extort money from one family while promising
the baby to another.
Having experienced these disappointing false starts in the
adoption process, it would be easy to become discouraged, but we kept our
focus, channeling our need to do something into adjustments to our profile and
updates to our photos. It would be
another four months before we heard back from ANLC with another adoption
opportunity. Finally, in February, we
received the call that we had been picked by a birth mother and, after speaking
with her, we knew we had finally found the right opportunity. We were in touch
with our birth mother throughout her last trimester (and even spoke to the
birthfather), then flew to California
to meet her in person for dinner the night before labor was induced.
Evan was born the following day, and the minute he was
placed in our arms (only a few minutes after he was born!), we felt that he
belonged to our family. But it was still
a very different experience than completing my own pregnancy and giving birth
myself, and we had to absorb this different process. Within a few days, the birth parents had
signed off on all paperwork, the required waiting period passed and Evan was
ours. We stayed in California
a total of eight days before we could legally leave with our son. Imagine
taking a four-day old baby to Legoland, the beach and out for dinner! We got some strange looks, but we made a
special holiday of the trip.
Then within two months after we brought Evan home came a
bigger surprise – I was pregnant! Although this pregnancy was considered
high-risk and needed some additional care to sustain it, I gave birth to our
third son in March the next year. We are
certain this would not have been possible had we not adopted Evan first.
We send photos to our birth mother and exchange e-mails
twice a year, and I love having the person who chose life for Evan and chose us
to become his family, be able to follow his progress, thank us for
making him part of our family, and tell me how beautiful our son is.
Eric & Lisa