The Birthmother Experience: What We Want Our Birth Child To Know About Us

When we are making the decision to place our child for
adoption, and quite frankly for years after, we are sometimes consumed with
wondering what our child will think about us. Will they hate us for what we
did? Will they recognize the difficulty of the decision we made? Will they be
proud of us? Will they know we love them? Will they even want to know anything
about us?

After having gone through the experience myself and having
talked with a number of birthmothers, here are a few things we want our birth
child/ren to know about us.

WE LOVE YOU.
From day 1. There has never been a question or doubt about that. In fact, we love
you so much that we made the ultimate sacrifice so that you would have
everything you deserved to have.

THIS WAS NOT AN EASY DECISION.
Nor was it one we took lightly. There were many sleepless nights and this was not a decision that we made in a day. It is the single most
painful and difficult decision we have ever had to make. But you were worth it
to us.

AT NO POINT DID WE NOT WANT YOU.
We did this because we wanted you to have so much more than we could give you. You deserved a life we couldn’t provide. We wanted more for
you than we had to offer. And at that time we probably would have given anything for the circumstances to have been different.

GOD BLESSED US WITH YOU, FOR THEM.
I know that I was meant to carry you and they were meant to be your parents. I found the perfect family for you, one that I knew would love
you just as much as me and take the best care of you.

WE WILL BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT.
Should the day ever come that you need us, we will be there.

WE NEVER FORGOT ABOUT YOU.
And we never will. You will forever be a part of us and we think about you often. We wonder how you are doing, what you look like, what your favorite
things are and a million other things.

There are so many things I wish my birth daughter knew about
me…then and now. And if we are lucky enough to have an open adoption that
allows us, we may even get the chance to tell them someday. If there was one
all- encompassing thing that I could tell her it would be that she made me
realize the strength I didn’t know I had. Because of her I made an impossible
decision and even though it felt impossible I am still here standing strong
today. And she has a life I could have only imagined she would have.

Author: Ali D.

Written by Samantha Gindi