Making the decision to create an adoption plan is one of the most difficult decisions a woman who is facing an unplanned pregnancy will have to make. Whatever their life situations are, these women find themselves not ready or unable to parent and they make the courageous decision to choose adoption for their babies.
Medical, Living and Pregnancy Related Expenses
If you have decided on creating an adoption plan and need financial assistance for medical, living or pregnancy related expenses during your pregnancy, you can reach out to an adoption agency or professional for guidance.
Adoption agencies and professionals can help you apply for any public assistance or insurance benefits to which you are entitled to. When necessary and if allowed by your state’s laws, your adoption professional can also help you find Adopting Parents who may be able to provide financial support for things like housing/rent, utility payments, food, maternity clothes as well as transportation to and from your medical appointments.
Housing Options For Women Choosing Adoption
Sometimes, during a Birth Mother’s adoption plan, she is not able to stay in her current living situation through her pregnancy. This may be due to financial factors, unsupportive families, or a generally unsafe environment.
If you are currently in an adoption plan and find yourself in this situation, know that you deserve a safe and secure place to stay during your pregnancy and speak to your adoption professional to see if they can help you secure appropriate housing in accordance with your state’s laws. Some options for Birth Mothers are:
1) Other Family Members or Friends
Moving in with your family members or friends for a certain period of time may be an option for you. If you are not sure how to share your adoption decision with others, click here.
Even if living with family members or friends is not an option, know that it will still be helpful to you to develop a support system during the adoption process.
2) Maternity Shelters and Homes for Women
Many places provide housing assistance to pregnant women, whether they are pursuing adoption or not.
- These homes are specifically designed to accommodate pregnant women. You will be taken care of and will interact with people who are experienced in pregnancy and women’s assistance.
- Some homes may be able to provide you access to educational programs, job coaching and other life skills.
- These homes often have access to doctors/medical professionals that you can go see.
- You can carry your pregnancy in peace and privacy.
There are many options for women who would feel comfortable living in a home specifically designed to accommodate pregnant women. However, it is important to know that this is meant to be temporary housing, so there will likely be strict rules that determine how long you will be able to stay.
Here are a list of some resources:
These are a few of many options, and there are also many resources that can refer you to places to stay as well. Adoption Network Law Center is available for free information and support 24/7, and can help you find information on maternity homes and shelters near you.
3) Short Term Housing
Short term housing generally refers to apartment rentals or extended stay hotels/motels.
- For some women who have jobs or other obligations that makes it necessary to stay in the area, short term housing is an option they like to consider.
Adoption Support System
Many women who choose adoption for their babies are faced with complicated emotions. While the decision to give their child life and to bless a family through adoption is a courageous decision made out of love, it is very normal for Birth Mothers to experience feelings of fear, anxiety, doubt and grief.
If you are considering adoption, it is important to know that you are not alone. Below is a list that will help you develop your support system.
1) Family Members or Friends
For some women, their immediate circle of family and friends will be where they turn to first. If you have this support, talk to them about your decision and the feelings you are experiencing. If those close to you have not been touched by adoption before, they may not understand everything you are going through, but they will still be a source of strength and comfort.
For others, family and friends may not be a healthy place to communicate. Instead of feeling supported, they may experience pushback, shame and guilt for their decision. If you try to communicate but an open and safe environment does not exist with your family and friends, find others who can provide that for you.
2) Adoption professional
If you are considering adoption, you should always reach out to an adoption professional for guidance. An experienced adoption professional will not only make sure to answer your questions and make sure your needs are met, they will also be a confidential and compassionate person you can talk to throughout your adoption process.
Your adoption professional can also connect you to other emotional support resources.
3) Professional Counselors
Receiving counseling during and after the adoption is strongly advised for Birth Mothers. Licensed professional counselors can help you identify and understand your complex emotions, help you with the grieving process and also help you strengthen your overall mental and emotional health.
Adoption Network Law Center, along with many other adoption professionals, require that their Adopting Parents set aside funds that will be used for their Birth Mother’s professional counseling.
4) Other Birth Mothers/Support Groups
Another great source of emotional support for you may be other Birth Mothers and if you choose, your adoption professional will be able to connect you with other Birth Mothers/support groups. While no two adoption experiences will be the same, speaking to a woman who has already placed and hearing her story, including the struggles and the blessings, can provide a unique encouragement to a woman who is currently in an adoption plan.
The adoption process can be a very stressful time for a Birth Mother. If you are considering adoption or are in an adoption plan, it can make a difference to know that you are not alone. Reach out to receive the assistance you need.