Stephen and Heather

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From Us to You

Hello Expectant Mother! 

First of all, we want you to know that you are in our prayers during this time, and we have a heart full of gratitude that you are taking time to get to know us through our profile. We admire your strength and love that you are demonstrating for your child. You are truly a blessing! 

We have been married now for 18 years. We have one beautiful daughter, who is 7 and is also adopted! We would not be the family we are right now if it wasn’t for the beautiful choice of adoption. We came to adoption because I (Heather) have medical issues that have caused infertility. When we got married, we wanted a house full of children (we talked about having 6)! So, when we were trying to grow our family and were met with these medical struggles of infertility, we were heartbroken. We tried different fertility treatments and had 3 miscarriages in 18 months. We decided at that time that we would just take one day at a time until the opportunity to adopt came along. When that opportunity presented itself, we were able to adopt our daughter, Alethea. And now Alethea and ourselves are excited for the opportunity to grow our family once more through adoption! 

We truly believe that there is a purpose and time for everything. It is our faith, even in difficult times, that guided us to be able to adopt our daughter and we believe that now is the right time to try and grow our family again. This is something that we have been praying for and we believe that God knows the perfect timing and fit for our family. We pray that faith will give you strength as you go through this time and decision in your life as well. 

Life is a precious gift and an adventure! We understand that this process of adoption can be overwhelming but please know that adoption is one of the most beautiful, selfless expressions of love that there is. Your choice matters. Your love matters and that will not be forgotten! We are humbled at the process and blessed. We understand the impact adoption has firsthand and would not be the family that we are today without adoption and are praying for the child that God has planned for our family, and we are praying also for you! 

We cannot express how thankful we are for you and your consideration of adoption. You are an amazing example of strength and courage. We see your love you already have for your child even though we have never met. What an honor we have that you are taking time to consider us for this amazing gift of raising your child. We are super eager to welcome your child into our family and promise to cherish and enrich his or her life in every way possible. This is a gift that we will not take for granted. We know how precious this child will be in every aspect of our lives. Alethea is also super excited to finally be a big sister! We are so thrilled for the opportunity to expand our family again! 

From the bottom of our hearts to yours, 

Stephen and Heather

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About Heather by Stephen

Heather is an amazing wife and mother. Her dedication to others, especially our daughter Alethea, is amazing. She has taken the time to learn about 4C hair and how to braid, twist, and style it along with proper daily/weekly care. She took time to learn about Alethea’s skin and the differences and then created a homemade lotion that not only keeps her skin moisturized but has also kept her eczema in remission. She has also self-taught herself photography and then graduated from New York Institute of Photography and is working to become a certified professional photographer in addition to getting her master’s in counseling. Heather is extremely smart, dedicated, and loving. She has a huge heart and seeks the best in those around her. She was instrumental in our daughter’s educational growth. Being in the military we move a lot and Heather has ensured the highest quality education as well as additional time at home helping to learn the method of instruction from a new school. This was most clearly seen recently when Alethea’s report card after 30 days at a new school was C’s and D’s; however, 60 days later she was getting A’s and B’s with a 3.43GPA! Heather is the most dedicated and loving wife and mother I know, helping Alethea understand and communicate her feelings during my last deployment.

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About Stephen by Heather

When someone meets Stephen their life is blessed. He is such a caring, loving and dedicated person who will make sure that you are doing well and if there is anything that you need help with, he will do it if he can. He goes out of his way to help anyone who is in need and makes sure that they know they are loved. As a husband he is a great provider and is dedicated to making sure that I am taken care of in any way that is needed. He is always there to help, encourage and uplift me when needed. As a father he is the best. I look at the way he takes care of Alethea and the relationship that they have and am in awe. Stephen will do anything for his daughter and future children to show them love and care. He loves getting involved with what Alethea is doing and playing, from taking her to parks to playing Mario games with her. He is always involved and does so with love. With Stephen’s passion for helping others, God led him to be a chaplain in the Army. There his love and care for people shines through as well. He loves serving and helping others.

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Why We Are Choosing to Adopt

Many years ago, Heather was diagnosed with PCOS. We spent the next few years trying various methods to conceive and bear our own children. After our third miscarriage in approximately 18 months, we decided to put aside conceiving our own children and seek to adopt and love a child in need as our own.  In 2013 we started this new journey of adoption and in 2015 a birth mother chose us to adopt her soon to be born daughter. Alethea was born in early 2016. When Alethea was 2 we decided we wanted to adopt again. However, due to deployments, a few military moves, and COVID, that desire was put on hold, and we were not able to start the process at that time. We are now in the position to be able to adopt again and we are all very excited to welcome another little love into our home that we can cherish! Our daughter, Alethea, is extremely excited to be a big sister. Adoption has been a great journey and blessing in our lives. Having a child to love and care for brings us great joy and is such a blessing from God. We know that even though God did not bless us with the possibility to have children of our own, we’ve been blessed to have had children through adoption and we love that opportunity that we have been given! We believe that God will truly bless again during this adoption journey as well!

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Our Lifestyle

We have a unique but very special lifestyle. Stephen is an Active Duty Chaplain for the United States Army. As a result, we have the opportunity to experience different parts of the states and the world. Stephen has been able to experience deployments that have taken him to the Middle East and to Europe. We also get to live in different states every few years as we move to different Army Bases. So far, we have lived in Arizona, Texas (twice), Colorado, and Kansas! While this may seem overwhelming to many, this also gives some amazing education and experiences! We are blessed with meeting new friends and learning new cultural experiences where we live. We believe that it is important to explore and learn the area that we live. During the summer we also love to take vacations! We love anything from camping in the Colorado Rockies to going to Disney! We take road trips to visit family and have fun along the way! Sometimes when family comes to visit us, we find fun experiences that they can have where we live. Recently we took family on a drive through Safari where you can feed the animals from the car. We are currently planning a trip to experience Europe around Christmas in 2024.

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Our Home and Neighborhood

Our home is a ranch style brick home located on a cul-de-sac in a quiet neighborhood. It is an open floor plan with tons of space that we love to run around in and play tag with Alethea. We have 4 bedrooms and are excited to grow into them! We have a large backyard where our dog, Jasper, loves to run and chase his ball while Alethea jumps and plays on our trampoline. We will sometimes have family dinner on our back porch while we enjoy the weather of the area or just relax in our hammocks. We live close to many towns that have fun amenities such as shopping, trampoline parks, outdoor parks and much more. We love living here because the neighborhood is quiet, yet the neighbors are extremely nice and welcoming. There are also kids in the neighborhood to play with. We are in an area where we can take a day trip to many big cities and experience the culture or even take a trip to the beach! It is such a great area to experience new things as we live here!

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Our Family and Friends

Stephen grew up as the oldest child in a home of 4 children. His dad is a pastor of a church in Arizona and his mother is a nurse practitioner. Stephen’s siblings also serve or have retired from the military. His brother has been married for 17 years and has 2 children of his own. Stephen’s sisters are identical twins and are unmarried and have retired from military service. All of his family are extremely supportive of our decision to adopt to grow our family. While visiting Stephen’s family has not happened as frequently as we would like due to distance and schedule, keeping in continual contact over the phone and video calls allows for good communication. We do enjoy the time that we are able to spend together! Heather is the oldest child in a home of 3 children. Her parents still live in Heather’s childhood home. Her sister and brother both have 2 children of their own, making for lots of fun with cousins when we travel to visit them! Heather’s family is extremely close and love to get together as much as possible to spend time together, even if that is through a weekly video call because of distance! When we go back to visit, we always make time to have family game nights and the cousins all play together! Everyone is extremely excited and supportive of adding another family member through adoption! Both of our parents have been a great example of how to have a lasting marriage and how to be loving parents to our children. Since being a military family, we have the blessing of having friends across the US and a few close friends that we consider family. They are all supportive of us and are excited for us!

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Our Traditions

We have many different traditions that we like to incorporate into our family. One is when we travel to a new area or a new vacation spot, we love to get a small souvenir to show where we have been or what we have done. Another tradition we love to do is during Christmas time. Heather loves to bake and grew up every year baking Christmas cookies to bless others with. This is a tradition that Heather has been able to keep doing with Alethea and will continue to do with any future children that we have. Also, we love to have matching pajamas for Christmas morning!

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Racial and Cultural Diversity

Racial and cultural diversity is one of those things you hear people talk about and think you understand, but until you are in the position, you don’t fully comprehend. Since adopting our daughter, we have received some negativity and were completely shocked and heartbroken. We have since quickly learned how to handle these interactions in a manner that allows our daughter to be shielded from much of the negativity. More importantly, we will continue to learn and educate ourselves and our children about the differences and values of these diversities and celebrate what is to be celebrated. It is our obligation as parents to learn and know how to best take care of our children’s differences, such as hair, skin, etc. Heather has taught herself how to take care of Alethea’s 4c hair and has learned how to do different protective hairstyles to make sure that Alethea’s hair is well taken care of. We also have a responsibility as our daughter grows to help her and educate her on the reality of life today, but also how to handle life in a positive manner no matter what society or those around us choose to do.

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Our Relationship With Our Child's Birth Mother

For our adoption of Alethea, her birth mother did not want to have a traditional open adoption. She requested photos and little updates for the first year after Alethea’s birth. To help aid this request we made the choice to establish a private Facebook page to allow Alethea’s birth family to see photos and important updates that were requested and continued to do frequent updates for the first 3 years. We have continued to update the Facebook page with important achievements and photos throughout the years that followed. We keep this Facebook page to allow Alethea the opportunity to get to know her birth family, if she chooses, in the future. We have maintained open lines of communication via Facebook, but do not reach out in any other means. We made sure to add Alethea’s birth mother, grandmother, aunts, etc. to allow for connection in the future, should our daughter choose to do so.

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Adoption in Our Lives

Adoption has been the most beautiful and best thing that has ever happened in our life. Simply put, without adoption we would not be the family that we are today. Adoption to us is the greatest example of sacrificial love and bravery there is. Alethea has been such a great blessing and it has been a huge honor to be called her parents and to be entrusted to raise her! It has been a journey that we wouldn’t change anything about! Adoption has allowed us to grow as individuals in learning how to be parents, but it has also allowed us to grow as a family. This journey has been such an honor and a blessing. As parents the joy of having a child is immeasurable. Adoption is such a humbling experience, knowing that we have been entrusted to raise and protect an innocent child to help them grow and develop into a loving, caring, respectable adult, and to help them reach their fullest potential means that we need to continually grow and learn as a parent to be able to accomplish that. Adoption has allowed us to do that! Again, without adoption and the love and bravery shown by you as a mother we would never have been able to experience this journey! Our hearts have been full of love, and we have been honored to be the parents of such a smart and amazing little girl and we look forward to the future with her and any future children that we have the privilege and honor to adopt.

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Our Vacations

We love doing things together as a family. Whether it is taking small little staycations in the area that we live, taking vacations to Disneyland, CA or going camping in the mountains in CO. Having these fun experiences together is the most important as we know life can get busy but taking time to connect helps us grow as a family. One of our favorite things to do is find the zoos that are located around the different areas we move to! We have gone to traditional zoos and to safari type zoos where you drive through and interact and feed the animals. We also love to find different things that are specific to the area and culture that we are living in or around. Being in the military it is so fun to search new local activities and feels like vacations all the time! Another thing that we love to do is take trips to Disneyland in CA. We try and make this trip to spend time together before or after Stephen’s deployments. We have been able to go twice and are looking forward to experiencing another trip to Disney in the future. We also love to spend family time in the mountains camping. Being able to disconnect from the business of life and being able to hike and play board games or enjoy a bon fire without distractions is a wonderful way that we try and connect as a family. We also enjoy our vacations to visit extended family in AZ and in MN and experience things like the Grand Canyon, Legoland, Sealife, the Mall of America and so much more! We love adventure and traveling together!

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Our Promise to You

Our promise to you first and foremost is that we will love your child wholeheartedly and will have their best interest at heart. We will strive to provide every opportunity that will help him/her grow into the individual that he/she desires to be. This means we will do our best to find the best schools, extracurricular activities (piano, swimming, gymnastics, sports, etc.) and different life experiences and opportunities we are able to (through living in different locations and vacations). We promise to always provide for your child, physically and emotionally. We will provide photos of your child’s growth and significant events especially during the younger years. We promise that your child will be welcomed with open arms by everyone in our family!