You’ve just had a baby. You were expecting to look and feel like the celebrity moms that grace the covers of supermarket magazines—completely put together and blissfully serene. However, in reality, you feel that you are neither of these things. You don’t feel like yourself and you are having some feelings of moodiness or sadness.…
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After your baby arrives your body changes as it returns to your pre-pregnancy state. The bigger the baby, the tougher the recovery. Postpartum is from delivery to 6 weeks following delivery. But take heart—recovery after delivery won’t last forever! Physical Changes Bleeding and vaginal discharge (lochia) – Your body will continue to cleanse the uterus and…
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If you have made a private adoption plan prior to giving birth, the adoptive parents typically take the baby home directly from the hospital. In fact, as long as you agree, and your attorney or placing agency has made the arrangements, most hospitals will allow the adopting parents to visit with the baby as soon as the…
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When deciding to place a child with an adoptive family, there may be a lot of unanswered questions about what will it be like after the adoption. Here are some basic facts to give you an idea of what to expect. The biggest mystery of the adoption process for a birth mother may be what…
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Adoption is a complex topic, but it shouldn’t be overwhelming if you arm yourself with knowledge about the process and how to adopt, and the right adoption professional. Growing your family with adoption is a big undertaking. This is a chance to experience parenthood in a unique way, and start a family, maybe for the…
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At times, origin stories and adoption intertwine. My placed son, Cricket, has become very interested in origin stories. He shares with me a love of caped crusaders. His interest is particularly in how superheroes and villains came to be. Many include origin stories and adoption. He told me about some of the stories he has…
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Sometimes I feel like there is this underlying force in the adoption community. I hate that it is there. I do all I can to fight it. I do all I can to stay as far away from it as possible…but sometimes, it’s just there. I don’t know when, why, or how competition snuck it’s ugly…
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Five years ago, I was struggling to find my footing as a new, adoptive mother. My husband and I had just adopted our first child, and I was desperate to find support beyond just the adoption books and blogs I had been reading. I craved face-to-face interaction with women who understood what it is like…
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Reader: Do most people work with multiple agencies at the the same time? Adoption Coach:Dear Reader: Thank you for your question. You asked if “most” people work with multiple agencies at once. And the answer is that there really isn’t much data to verify an answer. First, some agencies do not allow prospective adoptive parents…
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Reader: What would you say are the most important things to look for when deciding on an agency to work with? Do you prefer any over others? Adoption Coach:Dear Reader: Thank you for your question. A common concern for those new to adoption is how to choose an agency. There are so many agencies to…
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Reader: How do you cope with the wait/search/disappointment? Adoption Coach: Dear Reader: Your sentiments are felt by many prospective adoptive parents. Waiting for the news that you have been referred or chosen can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, disheartening, and anxiety-inducing. It’s important that prospective adoptive parents keep three main ideas in mind while waiting. First,…
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Reader: Next month I am going to be meeting with my daughter that I placed for adoption, almost 20 years ago. We have met up once before, but in a room with 4 other people. This time it will be just her and me. I am nervous, but excited. I would love to get an…
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Reader: We have 3 biological children and adopted a girl from Ecuador a year ago. Bonding is going slowly. It’s going slower for me than I anticipated, but even worse for the kids. They argue a lot, keep track of others wrongs and annoying habits. They compare almost everything—who has more of this or that.…
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Reader: I’ve heard that it may be possible for an adoptive mother to have a breastfeeding relationship with her child to foster bonding and attachment. Can you give me some idea of how one would go about this? Is it necessary for you to have given birth or nursed before? If it turns out you…
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