Our use of the terms “put up” and “give up” on this page does not reflect how we feel about adoptive placement. These terms appear here because they remain the most widely used search terms for those who are considering adoption for their baby, and we wish for this page to reach all who seek information about adoptive placement.
Choosing to give up a baby for adoption is an emotionally difficult decision. Once you have decided to place a baby for adoption, the adoption process is not as challenging. Below is a simplified seven steps to place a baby for adoption.
Choosing Adoption for Your Baby
Choosing to place your baby for adoption is a difficult decision to consider. Make sure to research all of your options so that you make the decision that is right for you and your baby.
Making an Adoption Plan
If you have made the decision to place your baby or child for adoption, you will need to reach out to an adoption professional such as an adoption agency, attorney, consultant and/or other adoption facilitator. Your adoption professional will help you to create the right adoption plan for you and your baby. At Adoption Network Law Center, we support you in every step of the adoption process, and help you create the right adoption plan for you and your baby. An Adoption Advisor will work closely with you to personalize your adoption plan according to your needs and wants. Your Advisor will help you find the right family for your baby according to your desired preferences, discuss your financial support needs, if any, help you prepare for your hospital stay and more.
Finding an Adoptive Family
Choosing the perfect adoptive family for your baby may seem like an overwhelming task, but all of Adoption Network Law Center clients are carefully screened so that you, the Birth Mother, can have the peace of mind that you chose the right family for your baby. All of our Adoptive Families are required to complete a state home study as well as a background check. The ANLC team has helped numerous Birth Mothers find the family of their dreams, who will love, nurture and support their baby.
Getting to Know the Adoptive Family
Adoption has changed over the last couple decades and “open adoption” is a term we are hearing more often. Open adoption allows for the Birth Mother and/or Birth Parents to have contact during and after birth. The degree and type of “openness,” of course, is dependent upon each situation, but contact can include sharing photos, phone calls, video calls, texts, and sometimes even visits. Most adoption experts and adoption professionals believe that open adoption is the healthiest choice for all parties involved, but they also highlight that the level of openness should be contingent on what is best for the child.
Creating a Hospital Plan
Your Adoption Advisor or adoption professional will work with you to create the right hospital plan for you depending on your needs and wants. Some questions your advisor or professional will ask are:
- Do you want contact with the adoptive family at the hospital?
- How much time do you want to spend with your baby after birth?
- Who do you want to change diapers, clothe and feed your baby, etc.?
After leaving the hospital, you will experience highs and lows, as you recover from giving birth and placing your child for adoption. It is important to allow yourself time and space to heal physically and emotionally. Your body needs to heal, so be sure to slowly ease back into your routine. It may take 6-12 weeks to physically recover, depending on the type of delivery you had. Although you have made a courageous and selfless decision to place your child for adoption, grieving is a natural reaction. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve your loss. Know that you are not alone. There are Birth Mother support groups, mentors and counselors ready to speak with you about your experience and how their experience can help you through yours. Your Adoption Advisor or professional will help connect you with the resources you need.
Communicating with the Adoptive Parents
The form of communication you will have with the Adoptive Parents will be determined by the level of openness in your adoption. Today, many Birth Mothers are in an open adoption situation, where they receive photos and letters. Some also have contact with the adoptive family through texts, social media, email, video calling and even regular face-to-face visits. Again, this type of contact depends on the openness of your adoption.
There are many reasons why adoption might be the right choice for you and your child. For some women, abortion is not an option and they need to choose between parenting and adoption. Your reasons for adoption are your own, and only you can make this decision. No matter what the circumstances, no Birth Mother should be made to feel guilty for their decision. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you won’t be able to care for your child in the way they need and deserve, adoption is probably the right choice for you. Adoption Network Law Center has plenty of resources for expectant mothers considering adoption. Choosing adoption is not “giving up.”